There’s a joke about an old man who was getting up in years. He had lost his wife, his business, his family; everything was gone. He had nothing left but the grudges. When I heard this one twenty years ago, I had to laugh because it reminded me of my mother and, admittedly, myself. Man, can I hold a grudge! I can cling to them like grim death, and that’s a good analogy because if you’re caught up in such rancor, you’re not

fully alive.

In a dream, I saw myself tightly gripping two heavy rocks (the grudges), one in each hand. I was standing at the foot of a steep craggy mountain, looking up. At the top was the place I wanted to be, to live, that goal I dearly wanted to achieve. I began to climb the precipice but soon I realized that I had to let go of at least one of the rocks I was clutching. I debated which one of the grudge rocks I could drop without losing a huge part of myself. At that moment I suddenly recognized how much of my psyche had become invested in my unacknowledged and unnoticed bitterness, resentment, and anger. So, I tossed one rock and moved on.

I climbed upward slowly but realized that I needed two hands to expedite my progress and so I examined grudge rock #2. This one was more difficult to let go of, and it took more introspection to do so. But when I began to focus on the task at hand, the goal ahead and the progress I’d already made after I’d jettisoned grudge rock #1, I pitched the second one less hesitantly. I continued my climb but still felt weighed down. Come to find out, I had more rocks in my knapsack! I pulled out another, and another, and another. I did mention my maternal roots, didn’t I?

With each step and stumble toward the summit, I became slightly more sure-footed. Sometimes I had to rest and take a few minutes to examine each grudge rock before I could let myself throw it away. As I did, I heard a small voice almost chanting the phrase, “Let Them Go. Let Them Go. Let Them Go.” I continued my ascent,

repeating my scrutiny of each grudge rock, and every time I heard the voice growing louder. I knew it was my Inner Voice guiding me to do what was in my best interest. Then I started singing “Let Them Go. Let Them Go. Let Them Go.” to the tune of “Over There”! I had to laugh at my choice of melody. Eventually, I took off my knapsack and dumped its entire contents on the ground. The rocks rolled down the mountain, tumbling and bumping against each other as they descended. The grudges I’d been lugging around for so long that no one else was even vaguely aware of, had only harmed me! Suddenly, I felt stronger, happier and so much lighter. I awoke from my dream feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and my heart.

If you are weighed down by old grudges or resentments, you may want to think of them as a heavy burden that is harming only you. I encourage you to let them go sooner rather than later.

Live Spry!